Myopic Thoughts

It’s now 8:37pm - I’m taking a break and making this blog at an internet cafe in Robinson’s Place Ermita. I’ve been watching over my grandma who’s been confined since December 25, 2006 (yep, you heard me right). It’s funny, but I think this has been the best Christmas that has ever happened to me. No sarcasm. Yes, I missed noche buena; yes, I missed hanging out with my cousins, yes, I spent Christmas eve inside a cold hospital room; but guess what - I kinda like it. Being in the hospital. Talking with the nurses, asking the residents stuff about medicine, staying with my patient (granny). Fits altogether. A taste of what’s to come. And I feel pretty good just being able to find meaning in all of this.

Time to get back to Manila Doctors. My aunt’s getting ready to leave.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

This song (by UpDharmaDown)has been haunting me for the past few days; I don’t know why. Somehow it speaks to me, or maybe it’s just my imagination. Still, it’s probably the inevitable consequence of me (for four straight days, imagine that) drinking nuthin’ but booze, booze, and oh, hey, more booze. Stupid, yeah?

Last night (since now it’s already 1:20 am) we played the songs for the 8th novena mass. We didn’t suck, but we didn’t excel either. It was a pretty ho-hum performance. I guess we (the band) were all tired. Tried real hard to do it for the Lord.  Personally, I’m experiencing a "holiday dryness" (if there’s such a thing); I don’t feel it’s Christmas time. I dunno, maybe I need something to perk me up.I just don’t know what it is exactly. Maybe I’ll find out, maybe I won’t; who knows? Who cares?

Just a few more days and I’ll be back in school, working my way through medschool.

Tch.

*big sigh*

You know there’s something seriously wrong when you find yourself suddenly teary-eyed as you’re listening to punk music such as this one while riding the jeepney on your way to school. PUNK MUSIC.  (o.O) FER CRYING OUT LOUD!!! IT’S FRIGGIN’ PUNK MUSIC!!!

Tsk, tsk. As much as I’d hate to admit it, I think I really am going nuts.
——————
Ocean Avenue/by Yellow Card

There’s a place off Ocean Avenue
where I used to sit and talk with you
we were both sixteen and it felt so right
sleeping all day, staying up all night
staying up all night

There’s a place on the corner of Cherry Street
we would walk on the beach in our bare feet
we were both eighteen and it felt so right
sleeping all day, staying up all night
staying up all night

If I could find you now
things would get better
we could leave this town
and run forever
let your waves crash down on me
and take me away, yeah

There’s a piece of you that’s here with me
It’s everywhere I go
it’s everything I see
when I sleep I dream
and it gets me by
I can make believe that you’re here tonight
that you’re here tonight

If I could find you now
things would get better
we could leave this town
and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow
we’ll be together
let your waves crash down on me
and take me away, yeah

I remember the look in your eyes
when I told you that this was goodbye
you were begging me not tonight
not here
not now

We’re looking up at the same night sky
keep pretending the sun will not rise
be together for one more night
somewhere, somehow

If I could find you now
things would get better
we could leave this town
and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow
we’ll be together
let your waves crash down on me
and take me away, yeah

——————-
You think you’re over someone, but in truth, you’re not. And it sucks. And though people keep telling you (or you keep telling people) to move on, the reality is this: for some, it is never easy to be freed of the zahir. They come into your life, take hold of you, and you’re never the same. Yeah, your life will go on, sure,  but you will never be the same.